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Saturday, August 9, 2014
Marisa Martin's Archie Derangement Syndrome
Topic: WorldNetDaily

WorldNetDaily columnist Marisa Martin hides behind a pseudonym, and we would too if we wrote the kind of paranoid drivel she cranks out.

In her July 6 WND column, "Martin" goes into full freak-out mode over over the Archie Comics storyline in which Archie dies taking a bullet for his gay best friend:

Archie Andrews was the love of my life at 12 – but I was forced to share him with sweet Betty and sultry Veronica, of course. How galling.

Faced with the usual dilemma of gracefully deposing a cartoon character who has “lived” ungodly long periods of time, Archie’s creators had him lay down his life for a friend. Isn’t that wonderful? Just as Jesus commended, but with so many variables … and the devil lies in the details, as they say.

One of these details is that by 2014 Archie’s taste in friends has greatly changed. Goofy Jughead was replaced by “best friend” Kevin Keller, an open homosexual. From the malt shop podium they could kick back and extol the virtues of the “gay” life, just like Plato and his disciples (although Plato later reversed this, describing the “crime of male with male, or female with female, is an outrage on nature utterly unholy, odious to the gods and ugliest of ugly things”).

Moving back to Riverdale from Athens, Archie Comics gladly sacrifices their protagonist to homosexual “BFF” Kevin in his final chapter. Although this was issued last month, it’s part of a campaign to reshape comics as a tool of social reeducation.
Progressive “Archie” publisher and co-CEO John Goldwater informed the AP of this himself: “We hope by showing how something so violent can happen to Archie, that we can – in some way – learn from him.”

It’s understandable that Archie’s publishers would want him bashed, because they obviously reached way beyond the public gullibility point. How many straight guys have a “gay” best friend, anyway? Perhaps an acquaintance or even a few friends, but Kevin and Archie discussing baseball and the comparative hotness of his babes?

Goldwater is a true believer, though. Aggressively pushing a type of “gay” hero worship, he claims to have accidentally stumbled across the story idea.

He eulogizes Archie’s murder in a paean of grandeur and praise for the noble sacrifice of life – but it’s obviously all about the homosexuality: “[Archie] dies selflessly in a manner that epitomizes not only the best of Riverdale, but the best in all of us.”

It’s clearly all about the sex, or an “openly gay” character wouldn’t be intrusively inserted into the storyline in Boy Scout country of Riverdale. Merits of homosexuality are never discussed in Goldwater’s interviews or the appropriateness of forcing it on children either. Why not have Archie die for Mother Teresa or a bus load of children? No political capital.

Martin continues her descent over the edge by correctly diagnosing her paranoia in the process yet reveling in it anyway:

I’ll probably be accused of being a conspiracy theorist for this, but the timing of these social campaigns is extraordinarily coincidental. Goldwater and his cronies launch his big change-the-kids campaign about 2008, the nascent Obama years. Talking points are identical: change, diversity, gun control and promotion of “gay” and alternative lifestyles, specifically in the military – oh, and zombie invasions.

I’m sure it’s a total coincidence, though, and Goldwater and his co-workers have never even heard of Obama or the Democratic national platform, nor are they useful lackeys in any way or have they been promised an ambassador’s position in Libya.

Goldwater proudly announces, “A new Riverdale is born!” with the death of traditional “Archie” and friends.

At its heels comes the news of their new series, “Escape from Riverdale.”

Perhaps some merciful writer/artist team will dream up “Escape from the Undead: Liberals Suck Riverdale Dry: Will Archie save the town in time?”

Like we said: If we wrote stuff like this, we'd hide behind a fake name too.


Posted by Terry K. at 12:24 AM EDT

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